But Wait - There's More!

More meat, that is.

Last night after a long day at work, our team had a bit of an impromptu morale event at a very popular restaurant with a unique venue on W. 49th between 8th and 9th. My boss was a hoot the whole evening. I’ve never seen him more vocal. He animatedly told one story after another surrounding the history of our group and our customers in financial services. Just when we thought he couldn’t tell any more, he’d hold up a finger and say, “But wait! There’s more!” and we’d all laugh. We had a great time.

It was at this fabulous restaurant where I think I discovered the meaning of life – or at least one meaning with which most carnivores would agree. This dining establishment is referred to as a steakhouse on its Web site, but it is much, much more than that. Churrascaria Plataforma is a Brazilian Rodizio. Briefly, it consists of a food bar loaded with finely prepared dishes and salads ranging from pasta, fancy vegetables, salads, couscous, scalloped potatoes, legumes, shrimp cocktail, and even octopus. But that’s only a jumping off place. After you finish your salad, you flip over the colored disk resembling a coaster in front of your plate. The waiters fill the center of the round table with side dishes like mashed potatoes, fried bananas, and broccoli. And then the meat starts coming.

And it keeps coming. Imagine dozens of waiters running around, each bringing huge slabs of meat to you on 3’ skewers. Holding it vertically, they slice off a slab of meat with a huge knife. You assist with tongs. And just when you think you can’t put anything more on your plate, they come back with more. I’ve never seen anything like it, and I’ve never eaten so much meat in one sitting in my 41 years. It is truly a meat lover’s dream – perfect for low-carb dieters.

From www.churrascariaplataforma.com/index_midtown.html:

Churrascaria (choo-rah-scah-REE-ah) is the name used to describe a restaurant that serves meat, mostly grilled, and Rodizio is a method of serving the different cuts of meat that originated in the south of Brazil in the early 1800's.
The concept is to serve a wide variety of different cuts of beef, pork, lamb, chicken, etc., in succession, to each diner individually right at their table, thus there is not a traditional menu. The restaurant features a fixed-price continuous tableside service.

My fellow TAM Larry sat to my left. Larry’s a great guy who weighs in at about 133 pounds. But boy he went to town on that meat. We were all so shocked at how much he could put away. Long after the rest of us had flipped our disks back over to the red side, Larry was still saying “Yes” to the waiters. We all cracked up on our team call today when Jacqui exclaimed, “Larry threw down!” None of us could figure out how he did it. He really cleaned up.

At the end, we each chose a lovely dessert from the 6-foot high dessert “cart” and Jacqui ran off to Broadway to see “Julius Caesar” starring Denzel Washington. (I am so jealous.) The rest of us sat around talking and laughing until there was no food or drink left, save one square bite-sized piece of shortcake on Andy’s plate, and a tiny half-sliver of apple on mine. We each must’ve eaten at _least_ a pound and a half of meat, on top of everything else, and somehow just couldn’t squeeze in one last wafer-thin bite.

I truly thought I was going to explode. It’s no wonder the Monty Python lyrics “Every sperm is sacred” got stuck on my brain. Today I couldn’t eat till early afternoon, and a salad was enough. I later had popcorn for dinner.

I plan to fast for at least a day before I attempt Churrascaria Plataforma again. It’s only a block away but next time I’ll be sure to walk around Central Park to get there.